Benn Gleck: I Was Wrong. The Rebellion is Worse

Senior Outer-Rim Analyst Benn Gleck explains how the Rebellion is more vicious and condemnable than even he had previously fathomed.

HNN Senior Outer Rim Analyst Benn Gleck writes an open letter to HNN readers/watchers/listeners. He explains why the Rebellion is vastly more insidious than even he had imagined.

Dear fellow loyal subjects of the Emperor,

I was wrong.

It is not easy for me to admit that. I have my true-blue human frailties like anyone else (except, of course, the Emperor), but - yes - I was wrong.

I was wrong because I thought that the Rebellion was perhaps misguided, perhaps a little extreme, but I used to think that appealing to reason and galactic spiritedness would eventually make most Rebels see things the Imperial way.

Insurgent Cham Syndulla of Ryloth (top), and terrorist Saw Gerrera of Onderon (bottom)

But with the vicious and inhumane attacks recently being carried out by the infamous likes of Cham Syndulla of Ryloth, Saw Gerrera of Onderon, and Admiral Theia, it's clear that it's just too much.

It's tragic, really.

It's tragic, because once both of the former were patriots fighting the separatist menace alongside the banner of the Republic, led by then-Chancellor Palpatine. It may be that the fanatical influence of the Jedi rubbed off on them. It was, after all, the Jedi who taught these two erstwhile leaders to fight guerrilla insurgencies against the droid army.

While Palpatine's war policies during the Clone War are, of course, beyond reproach - indeed, how could anyone justifiably criticize the one man who's political genius kept the galaxy together? - but we should be sober about some of the side effects.

Most of the blame for the radicalization of these individuals must also be thrown at the feet of the Jedi. Towards the end of the way it became clear that the Jedi were a dangerous death cult, who encouraged this sort of warfare.

It is little wonder that these leaders became radicalized by the Jedi. Constant reinforcement of an ideologically-narrow message, filled with misinformation, which aims to set some people apart from others, can do tremendous harm. When that sort of Bantha fodder is constantly fed to any audience, at some point even the inciter can lose control of the incited.

It is clear, my good audience, that this happened to these one-time good men, who fought the separatist droid army, but eventually fell under the corrupt sway of the Jedi. Now that these men have both savagery from their war experienced, combined with the toxic indoctrination of the Jedi, it is clear that the Empire must purge this sort of individual, and may our fine stormtroopers save us from these extremists.

Empire Uncovers Rebel Plot to convert Medical Frigates

Pelta-class medical frigates to be converted to combat vessels by Rebellion

BALMORRA SYSTEM - After a daring naval raid, Imperial Intelligence learned of the Rebellion's intent to convert Republic-era medical frigates into warships into their depraved cause.

Proving further that the so-called Rebel Alliance will continually stoop lower, Imperial Intelligence learned that the Rebellion aims to convert medical frigates into combat vessels in pursuit of further galactic instability.

the Intelligence was gathered when an Imperial Navy task force encountered Rebel vessels gathering combat refit components in the Balmorra system. The Balmorra system is the location of a subsidiary of Kuat Drive Yards, the original manufacturer of the Pelta-class medical frigate.

The task force was able to intercept a number of containers carrying the components, before the Rebel were able to collect them for shipment out of system. The rebel fleet numbered several transport flotillas, escorted by Corellian corvettes and a Mon Calamari cruiser.

During the Clone War, Pelta-class frigates were used to treat and transport wounded Republic soldiers, casualties in service of galactic unity and civilization. The Rebellion's plot to convert these vessels is considered by analysts to be a sign of the Rebellion deep depravity, as Clone War veterans consider the decks of these frigates to be hallowed ground.

HNN Contributor Benn Gleck

HNN analyst Benn Gleck was moved to tears:

"Clone War soldiers bled their sacred blood on the decks of these frigates, where the aliens and malcontents of the Outer Rim will soon be planting their muddy boots."

"It's an absolute travesty," Gleck added, asking: "Is really nothing sacred anymore?"

Fortunately, Imperial Intelligence learned of this perverse development, and informed HNN. Now the galaxy can be (nearly) as outraged as Gleck, and the rest of the HNN news team.

Analysis: Galactic Shock at Rebel Bombing of Mullan Turns to Anger and Resolve - Benn Gleck

HNN Contributor Benn Gleck

HNN Senior Outer Rim Analyst Benn Gleck writes an open letter to HNN readers/watchers/listeners. He explains how we should feel and express our horror with the Rebel attack that took place recently.

Dear loyal friends,

Yesterday was a day that will live in atrocity. The Rebellion attacked fine Imperial citizens on the world of Mullan, and bounty hunters held a space station hostage.

No one shed more tears than I did. I just love my Empire so much, and the thought that someone would want to hurt us with carpet bombing just tears at my heart.

When the Imperial Navy engages in bombing, they do it for a justifiable purpose and the civilians who are the victims of bombing have it coming in the way our civilians do not. They are either collateral damage or in some measure support those that need to be bombed. Supporting those who need to be bombed is the same as being those who need to be bombed.

But when the Rebels struck Mullan, they did the unthinkable. In striking the Keldrath sector capital, they attacked those people who bring administration to these parts of the Outer Rim that are in great need of being civilized. They attacked people who have lived to help others: help them pay their taxes to the Empire; help them have their children impressed into the Imperial Army and Navy; help them inform the ISB about the suspicious activities of their neighbors; and help them know how best to serve the Emperor.

But, like you, I have shed my tears and beaten my chest. I am now resolved to support the Imperial Navy 1000% in what they need to do to bring this Rebel scourge to an end. To show my support for our pilots and stormtroopers, I will put this sticker on my landspeeder:

Benn Gleck: The Calamari Are the End of the Rebellion

Senior Outer-Rim Analyst Benn Gleck explains why the Calamari Revolt will ultimately be the downfall of the Rebellion.

HNN Senior Outer Rim Analyst Benn Gleck writes an open letter to HNN readers/watchers/listeners. He explains why the revolt of the Mon Calamari tells us what we already knew.

Dear loyal citizens of the Empire,

The revolt of the Mon Calamari tells us all we need to know about the Rebellion and the rest of the Outer Rim.

With that source of lies and spin - Alliance "Free" News - reporting that the Rebellion will support the Calamarians' quixotic quest for autonomy, we see that they will always put the needs of aliens before the needs of humans.

But that's good news too, because it means that they will ultimately fail.

Sure, these Mon Calamari are cute with their decadent arts and bulbous protrusions on their ships, but these are distractions. The Empire, being pragmatic and not wasteful of its citizens' tax credits, knows that form must follow function, and not be splurged on pretty shapes.

But that's not all.

The other benefit is that while some of the Rebellion is human, it's slavishly beholden to the alien interests that used to plague the Republic. Because they're always trying to be 'inclusive' of the aliens, at some point they also like to have those aliens make decisions. That's going to be their downfall.

Humans are the dominant species of the galaxy - always were; always will be. Whenever you have a situation, like under the diminishing days of the Republic when aliens grew too big for their britches, you will see resources moving from hard-working humans to artsy-fartsy lazy aliens. That's not sustainable, and it will ultimately fail the way that civilization has always had a hard time in the Outer Rim.

And in a situation when you're facing the might of the Imperial Navy, Army, and Stormtrooper Corps, you don't have the luxury to embrace the artsy-fartsy ways that these Calamarians just can't live without.

Mon Calamari Declare Treason Against Empire

A Mon Calamari, one of the traitorous species declaring separatism against the Empire

DAC SYSTEM - In a shocking upset, the Mon Calamari government in the Dac (also called Mon Cala) system declared its thankless revolt against the Empire today.

After decades of civilizing this brutish aquatic people, the Empire is betrayed by the Mon Calamari in this ingrate - and ultimately futile - gesture. The Mon Calamari is expected to be back under Imperial control and administration within two months, as the Imperial Navy reassigns fleets to retake Mon Cala.

While some cite the Mon Calamari shipyards as being capable of providing for its own self-defense, a spokesperson for the Imperial Navy justifiably scoffed: "Mon Calamari star cruisers are nothing more than decadent pleasure cruisers. They cannot stand toe to toe with the star destroyers of the Imperial Navy."

While some suspect that a declaration of alliance with the Rebellion is imminent, the Mon Calamari have not yet declared their involvement with the Rebel Alliance. Strategic analysts believe that the choice between simple separatism and embracing the terrorist Rebellion can have profound consequences for Dac and the Mon Calamari people.

"It might mean the difference between simple re-subjection and justifiable eradication," one strategic analyst, choosing to remain off the record, told HNN.

Dac, the homeworld of the ingrate Mon Calamari species

Justifiable eradication is a phrase used for the removal of a species so depraved as to not be capable of rehabilitation for civilized galactic society.

"It's something the Quarren should keep in mind, if they follow the Mon Calamari's lead in this mistake," the analyst explained, referring planet's other dominant species.

Recently, HNN senior Outer Rim Analyst Benn Gleck named Mon Cala the worst planet in the galaxy. Today, the Mon Calamari proved Gleck's assessment as prophetic.

The Mon Calamari revolt demonstrates that the development assistance selflessly handed out by the Empire is not ultimately enough to sate these thankless aliens of the Outer Rim.

Benn Gleck Names Mon Cala Worst Planet in the Galaxy

A decadent city on the Mon Calamari homeworld

IMPERIAL CENTER (CORUSCANT) - In commentary, HNN Outer Rim special analyst Benn Gleck names the Mon Calamari homeworld as the worst planet in the galaxy, topping a list including Nal Hutta, Kashyyyk, and Corellia.

"Avoid Mon Cala like the Loedorvian Brainrot Plague," Benn Gleck told HNN last week, referring to Dac, the Mon Calamari and Quarren homeworld in the far Outer Rim of The Slice.

Reasons given were the planet's alien dominance, its high arts, and the symbiotic relationship between the Mon Calamari and the Quarren.

"With human galactic civilization having given this world everything - and I mean everything - from speech, to technology, to civilization itself, you'd think that they would at least be grateful and not so uppity towards Imperial administrators," Gleck said.

HNN Contributor Benn Gleck

"And then they want to make everything artsy-fartsy," Gleck added, "you can't walk three steps without them presenting you with some hip new type of living fish they want you to shove into your mouth. And then they make their ships all beautified, as if they think they're better than you."

Referring to the symbiotic relationship, "what really burns me is how they live together with the Quarren. What's clear to me is how both are species that are just made for manual labor, yet they're all froo-froo with one another, while rejecting humans. How can they pretend to be all nice with one another, while rejecting human administration? Speciesism! That's what I call it."

Beyond these core reasons, Gleck had other arguments for his placing of Mon Cala as the top planet to avoid like the Loedorvian Brainrot Plague:

Benn Gleck's list of planets to avoid like the Loedor- vian Brainrot Plague:

1. Mon Calamari
2. Nal Hutta
3. Kashyyyk
4. Corellia
5. Neimoidia
6. Ord Mantell
7. Rodia
8. Duro
9. Ryloth
10. Hapes

"Also, this place can't even settle on a name. Is it 'Mon Cala', 'Dac', or 'Calamari'; I'd wish those aliens would just... No, I think they should call themselves whatever the Emperor wants to call them."

Benn Gleck said that Mon Cala replaced Alderaan as worst place in the galaxy following the latter's destruction. Despite Alderaan being a human world, Gleck said that the only thing he dislikes more than uppity aliens is traitors.

"Sullust, for example," Gleck told HNN referring to the home of SoroSuub Corporation, "while it's all infested with these mousy little things, at least they know their place and they make things we find useful."

Other worlds on Gleck's top 10 planets to avoid like the plague included Nal Hutta for its permissiveness of the most decadent alien pleasures, Kashyyyk because of its strong-willed denizens and carnivorous fleas, and Corellia for its near-traitorous streak of independent mindedness.

BENN GLECK: On Speciesism.

HNN Senior Outer Rim Analyst Benn Gleck refutes the accusation that the Empire is speciesist.

Senior Outer Rim Analyst Benn Gleck

Dear HNN readers,

The galactic malcontents are at it again: trying to tear down the accomplishments of our beloved Empire. Their 'cause' this time? The fabricated notion that the Empire is speciesist.

You know who are the real speciesists in this galaxy? The ones who accuse others of being speciesists!

The malcontents - by which I not only mean the insurgents, terrorists, and rebels who are trying to tear the fabric of galactic society apart, but also the politically-correct "intelligentsia", who want to give aliens a privileged status in this galaxy because of some imagined injustice that happened millennia ago.

Because these ideas have been poisoning people's brains for so long, I need to deconstruct the argument, which I will do below the fold. However, let me first give you a particular example:

You know about Senator "Princess" Leia Organa, that so-called do-gooder from Alderaan, who supposedly champions the rights of aliens? What you don't know is that when the HoloCams aren't on her, she's not quite as politically correct towards the aliens. She's even been overheard to call her consort's Wookiee slave a "walking carpet".

In the meantime, what do the politically-correct "intelligentsia" base their accusations of Imperial speciesism on? The fact that one time a detention bay guard once called that same Wookiee a "thing."

I'm sorry, politically-correct "intelligentsia", maybe we should send detention-bay guards to "sensitivity training".

But I've got more. Click 'read more' to get my full analysis of what rebel speciesism is all about and how they practice the soft bigotry of low expectations.

BENN GLECK: Money Needs to Be Ours Again

HNN Senior Outer Rim Analyst Benn Gleck argues that we take our currency back.

Senior Outer Rim Analyst Benn Gleck

Dear fellow humans,

We live in a time of monetary travesty.

Our currency - the very substance that gives all of our livelihoods the blood that it needs to survive - is controlled by Outer Rim aliens, who - as we know - do not have our best interests at heart.

I am talking, of course, about the Muun of Muunilinst.

The Muun are the shadowy aliens that control the Intergalactic Banking Clan (IGBC), which actually determines what the credchip in your pocket is worth. No, it's not the Emperor or Imperial Central on Coruscant - it's a group of aliens in the Outer Rim.

Does that scare you?

It sure scares me!

If we really want to create an Empire that puts humans back where they should be, where they were before we started to be ruled by the aliens of the Republic, then we need to take our currency back from the Muun aliens and their IGBC.

BENN GLECK: If You Don't Like It in the Empire, Move to Hutt Space!

Senior Outer-Rim Analyst Benn Gleck on the cover of his new datapad issue: 'Arguing With Aliens'

HNN Senior Outer Rim Analyst Benn Gleck tells it like it is:

Dear fellow civilized human beings,

The Rebellion wants to go back to a time when the aliens were allowed to run things.

All of us old enough to remember know what that is like. It was a galaxy of "maker" humans doling out resources for "taker" aliens living off Republic handouts.

Yeah, if I was an alien, I'd like that too.

BENN GLECK: Savages of the Outer Rim

A species of Outer-Rim alien called "Ewoks" demonstrates its instinct for savagery.

HNN Senior Outer Rim Analyst Benn Gleck explains the nature of life on the Outer Rim.

Dear fellow civilized human beings,

Once again, I have more to say to you about Aliens.

I know that it's unpopular, because of the political correctness that was spoon-fed to us by the Republic, but something just has to be said about those aliens on the Outer Rim.

A recent ethnography about a typical alien species in the forsaken system of Endor demonstrates exactly what I'm talking about. While our old so-called "inclusive" way of thinking would have us believe that these are sympathetic creatures who have warm mammalian instincts like we do, nothing could be further from the truth. Like most aliens, they have a cold rapacious instinct that would tear a human apart as soon as it could dig its teeth and claws into our skin.

As recent evidence in the Arkanis sector shows us, when aliens are left to run things, they quickly descend into chaos and savagery. The rebel and criminal uprisings there have left the sector in such disarray that the only way to ever make something of that region of space is to send in the Imperial Navy to level the place with turbolasers. Clean slate.

Bothan Spies Leak Sensitive Military Information: Navy to Deploy More Vessels to Outer Rim

Bothan traitor to the Empire has been executed for possibly being part of a spy ring

IMPERIAL CENTER (CORUSCANT) - Reportedly the Imperial Navy is scheduled to deploy new vessels to the Outer Rim in order to take an even tighter grasp around the chaotic Arkanis sector.

Many Bothans have been executed for probably bringing the Rebellion this information.

This news was treacherously released by sources deep inside the hierarchy, or possibly by Bothan spies. Regardless of the actual source, Bothans are the most likely culprit and it has been deemed prudent to squash their species before more leaks happen.

"The Bothans are an ingrate and deceptive species, and therefore naturally inclined towards subterfuge and treason," Outer Rim expert Benn Gleck told HNN. "If it hadn't been for the Empire, they would all be Hutt slaves, considering how close they are to Hutt Space."

The leaked information involves when more ships will be made available to fleet squadrons operating in the Outer Rim engaged in the naval blockade of the Arkanis sector. Rear admirals and commodores serving in the Outer Rim are eager to deploy more new TIE interceptors and bombers from Gladiator-class star destroyers.

The rebellion has been particularly assertive against the Imperial blockade centered in the Savareen sector, and are reportedly ready to deploy heavier ships towards breaking the blockade, rather than merely running it. As such, the reinforcements could not come at a better time for the Navy.

Regardless of the relief that this news brings, it is clearly unconscionable that this information was leaked. It puts rebels on alert that their hopes may continue to be snuffed out by swift naval action.

 

Rebellion Given More Reason to Fear the Future

Sienar Fleet Systems' TIE Advanced/x1.

CORULAG - the Imperial Navy announced today that spare short-production TIE Advanced/x1 model fighters will be disbursed to decorated TIE pilots.

Sienar Fleet Systems' TIE/x1 is assessed to be a successful ship with new systems making it a fearsome fighter despite its initial cost-overrun shortcomings. The TIE/x1 series was developed by the Sienar Advanced Research Division on Corulag, where existing stockpiles of the craft are being refurbished with advanced targeting computers.

Analysts speculate that the coupling of this refurbished prototype fighter with some of the Empire's finest pilots will prove to be a successful counter to the crime wave occurring in the Outer Rim.

"The TIE/x1, while initially a production failure - as most prototypes are - will prove to be an asset in chaotic places like the Arkanis sector," HNN strategic analyst Palph Reters decared. "While the navy's first duty is to create a galactic zone of security with the mass presence that only the inexpensive TIE/ln fighter can provide, in places like the Arkanis sector, it's more useful to have a surgical approach."

Built with hyperdrives, the TIE/x1 is able to operate independently of an in-system carrier ship. This eliminates the need to bring in capital ships. Cautious naval strategists suspect the rebels and criminals of the sector may have mined the public hyperroutes, creating a danger for capital-ship traffic.

Due to HNN's dedication to bringing its readers a fair and balanced point of view, HNN Outer Rim specialist Benn Gleck offers this contrary opinion:

"It's time that we stop coddling these Outer Rim aliens. Instead of surgical strikes with hyperspace-capable fighters, we should just send in the fleet. Our capital ships have proven themselves to be effective in crushing the rebels. We should use it to take care of the Arkanis Sector once and for all."

Responding to suggestions that sending in the fleet may be too heavy-handed, Gleck pushed back:

"To save the Outer Rim, we may have to destroy the Outer Rim," Gleck declared. "Otherwise, the Outer Rim is going to coalesce into a Rim-wide caliphate of rebellion and republic, under the rule of the notorious criminal Huttler."

 

BENN GLECK: Aliens Undermining Empire

Senior Outer-Rim Analyst Benn Gleck identifies the source of the Empire's troubles to maintain law and order on the Outer Rim. Says: "Aliens."

HNN Senior Outer Rim Analyst Benn Gleck writes another open letter to HNN readers/watchers/listeners. He explains why the Imperial Navy is struggling to return control to the Outer Rim.

Dear loyal citizens of the Empire,

I have more to say to you about Aliens.

That's right - I am going to say it, because nobody else has to guts to do it.

The Old Republic failed because of aliens, and the Empire is on the verge of not learning the lessons of the Clone War. The Old Republic allowed political correctness and multi-speciesism to undermine the core values - by which I mean the Core's values - human values.

Those values are what knit civilization together, and created a prosperous galaxy together. But what undermined that galaxy?

You know it: Aliens.

BENN GLECK: The Outer Rim Aliens Just Aren’t Like You and Me.

Senior Outer-Rim Analyst Benn Gleck on the cover of his new datapad issue: 'Arguing With Aliens'

HNN Senior Outer Rim Analyst Benn Gleck writes an open letter to HNN readers/watchers/listeners. He explains why the Outer Rim is in uprising against the Empire.

Dear loyal citizens of the Empire,

I know the Outer Rim. Like you, I haven’t been there, but I know the Outer Rim. I know it because I know I love my Empire, and I know that they don’t.

Why don’t they love the Empire? It’s simple. The Empire recognized that the aliens who ran the Old Republic behind the scenes were treating humans as second-class citizens. The Old Republic gave aliens hand-outs – not just the material kind, but in terms of bending the galaxy’s natural order to accommodate them. They made doorways large enough for a Hutt to fit through. They put protocol droids at every office to let Wookiees and Rodians be understood by every excessive bureaucrat, and they even established celebrations of Jawa Heritage Month.

But who made all that happen in the first place? Who created galactic civilization, and brought the light of technology, communications, and star travel to the furthest reaches of known space? Humans from the Core Worlds, of course. Only humans had the innate drive and venturing spirit to forge our way out into the galaxy. But when were humans celebrated? When were our accomplishments put on a pedestal?

ANALYSIS: Arkanis Sector - Wretched Hive of Scum and Rebellion

HNN Analyst Benn Gleck detailing culture of corruption in the Arkanis Sector and relationship between criminal element and Rebel Alliance

IMPERIAL CENTER (CORUSCANT) - From HNN headquarters on Coruscant, senior Outer Rim analyst Benn Gleck asserts that it is no wonder that the sector has fallen to the crime wave. Gleck argues that the root cause is the corruption of the peoples of the Arkanis Sector (mostly aliens) are what has drawn the criminal and rebellious elements.

"I cannot describe to you the wretchedness of that place, but I will do so anyway. The aliens are everywhere, and they buy and sell humans as pleasure slaves. They have invited these criminals into the sector because they're just not like you and me - citizens of the Core."

According to Gleck the Arkanis Sector is awash with Hutts, Twi'leks, Jawas and Rodians, who desire to overturn the order of the galaxy, just like under the Old Republic. Their insatiable desire for spice, and to possess human women as well as children drives a culture of corruption in the Arkanis Sector, but will soon spread to the Core Worlds.

"The rebellion is no more than a twisted front for this culture," Gleck reports, "and if we don't rip it out, then there's no telling what will happen to us and our loved ones."

Gleck will be detailing more of his analyses in reports to come. While Gleck is not from the Outer Rim, nor does he have any special certifications in Outer Rim culture or society, HNN has retained Gleck due to his impressive loyalty to the Empire.

"I'm just a guy who really loves the Empire," Gleck asserts with a tear in his eye. "I just love it so much, and I'm proud to be an Imperial subject, that it just burns me so much what is happening out there, and I want you - loyal citizens, who love the Empire just as much as I do - to know what is happening."

In the meantime, he asks loyal citizens of the Empire to mourn the lost ISB agents in this back end of the Outer Rim.