Saturday, August 1, 2015

Rebel Use of Space Mines Reprehensible Transgression of Galactic Norms and Values

Rebel space mine deployed near Nelvaan Station in the Koobi system of the Outer Rim

The galaxy responded with shock at the wanton use of space mines by the Rebellion in the Koobi system yesterday.

Space mines are considered a condemnable weapon among civilized strategic analysts, the sort that only the inhuman likes of the Rebel Alliance would stoop to deploy. Being a weapon from less civilized times, thousands of spacecraft go missing or are found destroyed due to the space mines deployed in wars long over.

In the waning days of the Old Republic, the advanced worlds of the Core attempted to enact a comprehensive space mine ban, but were thwarted by the alien worlds of the Rim, and the war-profiteering interests in the Senate. Since the enlightened rule of Emperor Palpatine, space mines have been comprehensively banned for use, aside cases of clear overriding Imperial interest for the maintenance of galactic peace and stability.

COMPNOR spokesman Agandist.

"Only a beast like Lyraeus would endanger civilian life in this fashion," a spokesman for the Commission for the Preservation of the New Order (COMPNOR) told HNN.

Mr. Prop Agandist, speaking on behalf of COMPNOR, told a press conference this morning that rebels and members of crime syndicates deploying space mines will be brought to justice and charged with crimes against humanity.

When asked by a reporter for a less loyal news outlet than HNN about the use of space mines by the Imperial Navy, Mr. Agandist justifiably scoffed:

"The Empire serves humanity, and therefore the Imperial Navy's use of space mines is not a crime against humanity is it? You silly alien."

The journalist in question is reported to have found a new vocation in the spice mines of Kessel, as journalism was clearly not his true calling.

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