Thursday, February 19, 2015

Rumors of Impending Crime Wave Denied

Spice mines of Kessel

KESSEL SECTOR - an element of rebel propaganda warning of an impeding crime wave are categorically dismissed by Imperial Security Bureau (ISB) analysts.

"These rumors are categorically false," ISB Agent Smit assured HNN reporters, "they are merely attempts to scare good citizens into questioning the very policies the Emperor has put in place to keep them safe."

Earlier in the week unnamed sources spread false rumors of a large number of criminal elements having been smuggled out of the spice mines at the detention facility on Kessel. These rumors asserted that said criminal elements would be preying on Imperial and rebel holdings alike within ten days of the news.

"For starters, there are no such thing as rebel holdings," Agent Smit explained, arguing that there was nothing mere criminals could do to the forces of the Empire.

"They would not have the resources, and even if they did, they would be flying obsolete fighters such as Z-95 Headhunters or Koensayr Y-Wing fighters - one or two-man fighters that have not been used by professional military forces since the Clone Wars."

Asked about the alleged prison break at Kessel, Agent Smit dismissed the rumor. "Kessel is more locked down than ever."

While Agent Smit acknowledged a labor dispute between the managing authorities of the spice mine and the prison guards' union, he assured that this dispute would keep the prison population more bottled up than ever.

"Not even prisoners awaiting release are getting out these days. The rebel propaganda is nothing more than that, and they should be ashamed to be spreading such lies, attempting to unnerve fine citizens such as your readers."

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