Thursday, April 2, 2015

Conspiracy Theories Laid to Rest About Alderaan

The planet Alderaan before its removal to make way for an interstellar hyperspace bypass

IMPERIAL CENTER (CORUSCANT) - Imperial Grand Vizier Sate Pestage sets record straight about scurrilous conspiracy theories circulating among disloyal and malcontented denizens.

After the spread of numerous conspiracy theories regarding the destruction of the planet Alderaan and slanders regarding Lord Darth Vader's involvement in the destruction of an Imperial space station, the highest Imperial administrator clarifies the so-called Alderaan incident.

These allegations include accusations that the Empire would destroy an inhabited planet in order to coerce a confession from a rebel spy and traitor. Furthermore, that Lord Vader himself would be implicated in the destruction of the space station instrumental in the destruction of Alderaan as some form of a coverup.

"This is preposterous nonsense," Grand Vizier Sate Pestage told HNN. "Alderaan's removal was nothing more than a necessary widening of an interstellay hyperspace bypass between Brentaal and Commenor."

Responding to suggestions that millions of people had been killed in this 'bypass construction', Pestage said "All the planning charts and demolition orders had been on display at the local planning department on Brentaal for the required amount of time. If the remaining citizens of Alderaan had taken a greater interest in local affairs, then maybe they would not have been taken at unawares."

Since the Commenor Run's widening, Pestage explained, interstellar commerce has become more prosperous as goods can more easily move from 'The Slice' (the segment of the galaxy between the Corellian Run and the Perlemian Trade Route) to the Core worlds, making everyone else better off as a result.

"But there's no convincing some people," Pestage said, shrugging his shoulders. "Haters are just gonna hate."

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