Monday, March 30, 2015

Rebels Alleged to Meticulously Chart Stars for Tactical Advantage: Empire Changes Rules of War


Location deemed unchartable by the Rebellion

IMPERIAL CENTER (CORUSCANT) - Imperial Intelligence alleges that the Rebellion has been charting certain locations of space and using detailed knowledge of that location's starfield for tactical advantage. In response the Empire has declared that only its particular locations of space shall be suitable for crushing the Rebellion.

The advantage gained by this meticulous charting has been the reason for the Rebellion's successes over past months, Imperial Intelligence has argued. There could be no other reasonable explanation for their resilience, given their technological and organizational backwardness.

In order to snuff out this ignominious infraction of the rules of war, the Emperor has decreed that engagements shall henceforth take place in locations chosen by the Empire, where the Empire can destroy the Rebellion without further delay.

HNN had the great fortune of receiving a comment from Lord Darth Vader himself on the changes to the rules of war:

"I am altering the rules," Lord Vader said, "pray I don't alter them any further."

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