Tuesday, May 5, 2015

A public service announcement:

Have you wanted to help the Empire, but are ineligible to serve in the Imperial Army, Navy, or Stormtrooper Corps?

Does your job or career prevent you from serving full-time directly in the Imperial Security Bureau (ISB) or elsewhere within the Commission for the Preservation of the New Order (COMPNOR)?

Not to worry!

The ISB is now certifying citizens and subjects of the Empire as "Noncombatants Against Rebels and Criminals" or "NARCs"!

You could become a NARC and help the Empire prevent insurrection, treason and crime in your neighborhood. The only reason not to join is if you are disloyal and have rebel sympathies.

Join the ISB as a civilian
and become a NARC today!

Please also inquire about the ISB's new Friends & Family plan! Turn in your friends and/or family for promotions or salary increases no matter what your line of work, level of competence, or credit history.

Some restrictions may apply. Friends and family already incarcerated for crimes against the Empire are not eligible to be turned in for special promotions. NARCs attempting to redeem favor from the ISB by turning in their personal enemies for dilatory reasons may be eligible for an all-expense paid incarceration at the spice mines of Kessel. The ISB's Friends & Family plan is suitable for children. Children orphaned due to their participation in the ISB's Friends & Family plan will be taken in as wards of the Empire and raised by the Committee for the Preservation of the New Order (COMPNOR) and enlisted in the Sub-Adult Group on the system of domicile. Being turned in to the ISB will probably lead to incarceration, but there are many reported incidents of re-education, torture, and especially execution. Rehabilitation is rare, and should not be counted on. Complaints about ISB customer service should be directed to turnmyselfin@isb.imp.

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